looked through my old things and found this.

yes. i found drawings of manga eyes. i hope you enjoy it :)

that awkward moment...

...when you forget your blog.
oh well, it happend again? how? don't ask because i also don't know how the actual fuck i could forget it. well, a lot happend in this month, but i won't share my whole life with you. that's why we've got social networks like facebook or twitter. on a blog, you can do that, but i don't want that. here i want to share my thoughts/statements to things(serious stuff)...
But before i run outta the main theme(the reason why i write today), i want to share a...uhmm.. kinda crazy story, but it really happend. i sleepwalked. and the crazy thing is; i wrote a long text and it seriously made sense. i showed that my best friend(online), she thought it was awesome. and i showed it the people in reality and they just were like; wtf? i see that the world between reality and the internet is fucking diffrent. of course i prefer the internet world and thanks for the nice compliment! :)
ooh and before i write it down. it's dedicated to 2 great girls outta here. totally diffrent, but i love you both so fucking much :-*

' i'm ugly...', when i hear that sentence, i could literally freak out. the society(which barely knows you) where we live in, chooses who's 'beautiful' and who's not, BUT does the anonymous majority have the right to judge you without knowing you? NO! THEY FUCKING COMPLETELY DON'T! i guess, i know the meaning of 'beauty', because the mainstream didn't brainwashed me, but unfortunately did the word 'beautiful' lost it's magical sparkle of meaning. the majority thinks that plastic surgery makes them look perfect, just like a barbie doll. and what about the tight and short outfits? so every guy can look behind your little skirt and wanna bang you for one night. girls? they just do that to push their own ego and to settle their lust for sex down.(i don't wanna say that every guy do that, but in this society where i live in, i trust them anything!) i'm happy that i don't need something like that, because i know the real personality of beauty:

 your character is the most important part for your inner beauty, also experience, surroundings and your past are important, but these are only small categories to your whole character. i had the experience, that shy people can be very lovely and careful people if you stay in contact with them for a long time.when they're under people who they actually can trust into, then they show their really beautiful side. when somebody says, that he/she mean it serious, you can see the sparkle in their eyes. his/her body temperature shows you how he/she feels(sweat, blushing...). the corners of his/her mouth tells you if he/she's feeling fine or not (but after a while did the minority learn how to fake their emotions). the gestures shows if he/she likes it or not. when everything is in one harmony, then, but ONLY then you see the REAL beauty of a person.

i'm sorry for all the mistakes, but the original text is written in a diffrent language and i just tried my best to translate it, allhough i'm not good at it. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! but i hope you understand my main message<3

the letter, which wants to scream the shit outta my heart.

Dear Jordan.

i don’t know where i should start and what i should say. i’m speechless because of my own stupidity. i never thought that i could be so idiotic. i understood you wrong and now you understand me wrong. every feeling, every kiss, every smile and every touch of you saved my day and made me smile genuinely. eVERything(RIP Jimmy ‘the REV’ Sullivan) i feel for you is for fucking real! ok? i don’t have to pretend love. it’s the most disgusting thing i’ve ever heared. if you think i lie, then you’re COMPLETELY WRONG! i love you, foREVer. I couldn’t lie to my little baby gnome. i couldn’t lie to those eyes, which metls my heart in seconds. i couldn’t. it’s like lying the better side from you(rself). You’re the good side of me, ok? because my whole personality is shit and i hate myself enough. you’re the reason of my existence. it’s like insulting your family without reason… FUCK IT! please forgive me! PLEASE! it KILLS me to know that you ignore me.

‘What if i never hold you? Or kiss your lips again?’ ~ seize the day

‘I know it’s hurting you, but it’s killing me!’ ~ unholy confessions

it’s just empty and cold without your love… *cry*

updates

Hello, hello readers!

the vacation started and that means, that i've got the time to write more in all my blogs.

well, i just wanted to tell you that, so be prepared for some spams ^^

don't tell that i didn't warn you. and to show you what will come in the next 6 weeks, here's a list of stuff, i want to publish;
~picture/gif with meanings
~quotes
~random stuff
~1 short story
~paintings/drawings (of mine and other artists)

that's it. can't wait to entertain you, guys! ;)

it's midnight...

...the time where the brain works best(studies suggest).
ooh, i could be a poet, but we all know that this wouldn't work. nope. i don't have any special reason to write here something, but i want to write my thoughts down, on my own blog. maybe dumb, maybe not, but who knows? can we actually follow everything we write and realize what we posted? "we're so trendy, we can't escape ourselves." ~Kurt Cobain. i could go on with these thoughts, but actually, that's not what i wanted to talk about. my reason why i wrote here is the fact that i get fn' much compliments in those last days and it starts to scare me. i understand what people want to tell me, but you all overfloat me. with your feelings. allthough only 2 people care for me, but hey(!) i guess they mean it serious. just too cute. and i want to thank them. caring for me so much, allthough i don't even deserv it. making me feel wanted, in a weird way. well, in my opinion it's weird, because it's rarely to have a feeling like that. and now you overwhelm me. fuck you! <3 maybe i sound like an ego or somebody eles who searches for attention, but then you understood the whole message wrong. i just want to say; 'thank you for entering in my life, because i don't know what i would be without you'. that's all. is that too much (what i want)?

books, books and my life.

hello my readers!

well, it's the 1st.July which i actualy can't believe, because of the not very awesome weather. i also can't believe it because i only have to go to school for 5 days and then my vacation would start. that means i have SO much time and i want to do many activities like;

• reading (more)
• drawing/painting (more)
• teach myself how to play piano
• study english better

and more stuff.

I played piano when i was 12, but i stopped for a while. now i want to learn it again. wish me luck! ;)

Wait. Stop!

the main reason i wanted to write a new post was because i want to show you 3 great books. i didn't read them/started to read, but i hope it doesn't mind.

i started to read nicholas sparks book 'nights in rodanthe'(in german: das lächeln der sterne) and i allready read 5 chapters and it starts to be interesting. i asked my aunt how she felt after reading the book and she said; ' i cried the whole night long. i just couldn't sleep because of the book' i was totally suprised, but i know her too good, so i guess it would be a path of emotions for me. if i'm done with it, i will tell you how i feel.

The next one is a book with 2 books of thomas mann(shit, that sounds weird). 'Tonio Kroeger'(only 70 pages long) and 'Mario and the magican' are in one book. my german teacher told me to read that, because it supports my literate. I guess she said it like that, but im not sure. today i'll start with it and i guess, i can tell you my feedback about it tomorrow. or on tuesday. i don't know. i have to find time for it. if you've got questions or anything else you want to tell me, you can write to me. 

my hotmail: club27tribute@hotmail.com

french is an utterly beautiful language. let me show you why.

In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.

fuck you!

poetry, stories and many more ways to publish your thoughts, your emotions and to put that down what you allready experienced. when i read the poetry blog of my best friend, i'm just jealous of her, because she write so much. it's like shes writing a speech to the president. so recondite, so meaningfull. it just reaches the bottom of my heart.

Another example;

i read love stories/fan fictions of other people and i'm just thinking; how do they get their creativity? their inspiration? their impules. it's just a mystery for me and yes, i'm jealous. you could be proud of that but inside me i feel that. that feeling of being a brick. just as dumb as brick. yep. that describes me. everyone around you is better than you in anything. did you allready had that feeling? i have it anywhere and it just hurts. more than that. it literally eats my organs and they start to burn inside, like i swallowed poison or something like that. i can't explain it. excusez-moi, because of my dumbness.

FUCK YOU!

JUST FUCK YOU ALL!

these 2 weeks, which i probably wouldn't survive.

it's friday. i know. im totally happy about that, because this week was not really great in my opinion. it was like every week. i have to pretend someone who i'm not, but i still was myself(You don't have to understand my logic). the thoughts; "should i comment it or not?" are allways in my head. because i mostly say nothing, everybody is shocked when i say something. my parents are also shocked. i'm allways the quitness in the family, but when i write, i feel so free. like shaking all my worries away. it's a good feeling, but i cant do it everyday. i still have to study and have to do presentations. i just pray to god that i'll survive these last 2 weeks, before the vacation starts. and i write to my online friends to kill the time.

a piece of hope van halen's life.

2 days ago, i done the same. i wrote a page full with my thoughts, but i still have the feeling that i didn't write enough. i have so much to say, but the humanity lives so far away. i say this, because it feels like i live in distance from the whole society, but i'm honest;

i hate the society and the humanity.

So it's my fault. i build bridges between my world and the reality, just because i don't like the world, but i guess i have to buid bridges between the reality and my dreams. it's a way to understand people better, but why should i stay in contact with ironic idiot's who don't accept the fact that i'm diffrent?

why should i trust people who gossip behind my back?

why should i?

why?

i'm just too afraid. too afraid to loose everything. my glory(if i own it, i'm not really sure with it), my hope for peace and my moment where somebody is comming to me and says; "hey! i want to share my world with you." i shouldn't wait for this, because i know that this would never happend. the humans are just too busy to care for others and that hurts. because in the past, i was a fucking idiot and thought; "If i'm nice to them, they'll be nice to me" 

*laughs* 

well, i found out that this is the most popular motherfucking lie i've ever heared!

(...)

today is the 10th.June.2012

Yes guys, today is the 10th and i really missed you guys, allthough i wasn't offline for a long time.

Well what else could i say? Uhmmm... oh yeah!

Well yesterday was a really productive day for me, because i'm seriously done with my homework(i had to copy 17 pages. well, in my opinion it doesn't make sense but my german teacher is kinda crazy), i made a new blog 2 days ago, so don't hate my page, please(?)

i can explain my blog a bit to you, if you want to.

Well;

My new tumblr is a blog where i add pictures of my favourite band and sometimes i share more personal pictures. Well, it's just like the other blogs, but it would be nice if you could leave a comment/an idea here on the comments below.

Well, now i want to show you something what i also did yesterday. Because my homework annoyed me, i sometimes laid it away, grabbed my small A5 college block and wrote what i thought and that's the result;

of course i'll post them all, but not today. maybe another one.

Oooh and before i forget it! My awesome friends brought me to an idea, but i'm not really done with it. you'll see it in tumblr, because on blogspot i would like to write quotes and share my art with you.

I guess i'm done now.

xoxo.

ps; what do you think about the new blogspot design?

06(June)/7th

This song is called "Oh me."

"Oh me" is a cover. that means it's not by nirvana. it's originally by the meat puppets. i don't care 

if it's from nirvana or meat puppets; the lyrics just speaks with my soul and nirvana gives the sparkle

 around the (in my opinion) perfect wrapped heart shaped box (sorry, but kurt owned a totally cute collection of them). everything is in this box what a pure music lover needs;

 passion, beautiful lyrics, acoustic guitars and a talented singer.

In my opinion it's a great song and i can calm down with this song. not like "don't worry, be happy :-) " but it have got something that i can't explain it in words. i guess, you need to listen to nirvana's unplugged album, then you could judge it better.

5(May)/18

L'amour de l'humanité est une abstraction à travers laquelle on n'aime guère que soi.

( The love to the humanity is something abstract, all thought we just love ourself.)

Une manie, c'est le plaisir passé à l'état d'idée.

( A Mania is nothing diffrent than spiritually minded passion.)

 

 

5(May)/18

It's 12:30 am and i'm tired as hell(and i don't know why). BTW(by the way) i want to show you another painting i create today. it's calligraphy mixed with abstract art(a bit). my mum likes abstract art and i still don't understand why. but before i talk about my whole private life i want to show you ;

Love. Written in 4 languages; German(Liebe),French(L'amour),Chinese() and english. Oooh and if you can't read my handwriting or if you don't understand them; Don't Worry! i'll send them later.

Oooh and what do you think about my name in japanese? :)

(It's the first one. above "Love".)

xoxo(hopevanhalen)

5(May)/17

Hello my readers!

First of all i want to tell you how suprised i am about the views i get. i know that my blog is not popular, but in 2 days(Monday+Tuesday, this week) i get 21 clicks! omg! thank you very much! :)

But now back to my reason why i want to post something. I create a new painting and i hope you enjoy it.

Because i can't judge myself, i need your opinon about this. i allways need opinion from the others, so i know what you like more and what you don't like, but i can't change everything about me. I hope you know this! i don't change myself for anybody else and i think nobody would.

5(May)/16th

Dear Readers.

today i want to show you a new friend of mine.

This is Sweetheart and here are some facts about him;

Full Name; Jason "Sweetheart" Mc Gaylord

Born; in hopevanhalen's mind 

Birthdate; on the 5(may)/11/2012

Short Bio; Jason is a stick figure(how you can see on my picture). He hates it to be a guy, he'd rather to be a girl, because he thinks girls have an easier life(he's wrong, but he can think whatever he want to think). He also loves girls stuff. He loves ballet, photoshoots and dresses a lot. He see it like a pasion. his big idol is kurt cobain(especially in dresses) because he's the reason why jason exist.

If you want to ask him something, then write down what you want. If you want to bully him or the person who invent Sweetheart should accept the fact that we're diffrent. I think we said enough.

5(May)/1st

Doodle Art. I start to like it again...

What do you think about doodle art and stick figures?

4(April)/29, the dedication to my friend.

THIS is such an emotional song. I hate the title"(this will make you cry)", because people should feel what they want. if they cry or not, it's up to them, but seriously(?) i cried, but that's because i thought about someone special. to my best friend.
Maybe we live 2.206 km(means 21 hours/30 minutes by car) far away from each other, but our friendship is still alive, believe us or not. I don't care what you're thinking about me and my online friend. We're insane, we're outsiders. Yeaa, and now? Tell me please something that i don't know! If you hate her, i hate you too. Yes call me gay because i protect somebody who i've never saw in person. Excusez-moi. what the heck do you want from us? i just want a best friend like you all! doesn't matter if i would see her everyday or only one time in my life.

4(April)/29

How i promised you, today i want to publish more.
I love it to draw and i love the fact to do something for myself. I'm calmed down when i draw, but the result would allways be the same; childish.
BTW, i publish it! just to show the others (who think that they're awful at art) that they're really great! :-)

Oh, you can't see "2O12" but i think that's not important.
I just added the second picture because i found out that calligraphy is an awesome way of art. a mix of handwriting and art, i like that because i love to write poems and i love art to and both combinated... Aaaw, i'm just dreaming about the english handwriting;

Awesome! *-*
Excuse me, i'm in the wrong world, as usual.

4(April)/29

Excuse me that i forgot my blog but i was busy in these weeks and yes i forgot my blog.
You wait since 1 month(and longer) for an answer. i exactly know how it is to wait for someone so long. It's like a mindfuck, but more emotional. Of course i want to publish a bit more today, so i hope you enjoy it.

Ps; you didn't miss much.

3(March)-31-2O12

"Mum, Mum! Take me to bed. I think i don't survive! I think i die in this crud around me. I meet him, _______(Name of your dreamboy/girl)with his/her smile, that bright. His/Her eyes, that huge. I'm lost in his/her smile and he/she treated me with his/her art of love. He/She use my my heart to make himself stronger." ~HopeVanHalen

3(March)-1O-2O12

Sorry for this advertising crap ,but it would be nice if you could watch my new clip.
"WATCH THIS" - Slash ,Duff McKagan and DAVE GROHL <3

3(March)-1O-2O12

Hello Guys !

Long time ago that i write here something. i'm happy that i found time for you now ,because i really missed it to write something into my blog. Mostly it's schools fault ,but it's also a bit my fault because i allways forget it! i'm sorry. i'm also sorry that i have no quotes for you ,so i write something about my personal life. i have to make 3 powerpoint presentations ,my next exam is on monday and i'm a guitar hero addict. i have to play it everyday! i don't know why or what makes me that freaky about this game ,but it's like a drug ,really! some people can't imagine this ,it's o.k! you don't have to live with that because i don't know you all and i have no idea who reads this ,so ...I think i should leave it. At the moment i've got a lot of earworms but THIS is fn' great and i can freak out with it perfectly! i sing that right now and i try to imitate his voice in the chours ,but i would NEVER get this.

2(Febuary)-24-2O12

Now it's ten years ago that we had valentines day and i thought about ; "Why not sharing my gifts to you ?" And yeaa ..If you allow me to publish them ,then i wanna show you these pictures ;

Here they are !Much right ?

Is there something what you don't understand ? Questions ? ASK ME ! i love EVERY question : )

2(Febuary)-18-2O12

Ps ;

I'm soo thankful for the 1,OOO clicks i get ! :)

Since August i'm sitting here and write stuff for you guys ,but i didn't thought that i would get 1,OOO clicks and i never thought that i would go on with my blog .I mean ,first i used it as "Holiday hobby" and now it turned to my passion to write to you all. it's awesome how you comment my quotes and poems and my drawings ,so cute and nice ! :)

I have no idea how i can say thanks into another way .I have no time to make a "Thank you" clip so what do you wanna do ?

xoxo ! :-*

2(Febuary)-18-2O12

Hello Guys !♥

i've got good and bad news for you .

I think i should start with the "Bad" one ;

I think about to delete my lookbook and my second blog because i have no time for both ! And the second bad one is ;I can't be online this/next week because i have to make a history project ,i have to write on the Febuary.24 an exam and i forgot the other exam ,but i remember it was in this month .On monday i don't have to go to school but i wanna celebrate HIS birthday and at the moment i'm on a birthday party too ,but at the moment it doesn't mind where i am right now .

The great news are that i don't have to go to school on monday (Proud like wood ! ) and i bought a 300 pages fad book with tipps how you can draw .i mean ,how amazing is that ?!I know that i said a lot of times that you can't study art ,you can only feel it .It' true ,but it's not all about the heart ,be honest guys ! And another reason why i bought it was the reason that i want to be better in drawing ,so you can see the ideas better which i have got in my brain and more ....More realistic ,you know ?

Well ,that's pretty much all what i wanted to write and i hope you guys don't wanna miss me because i wanna miss the feeling to write something in my blog ! :s

xoxo HopeVanHalen

2(Febuary)-12-2O12

It's up to you how you see it !

In my eyes it's endless and it's nameless ,so i want YOU guys to find a name and explain what you see in it .

2(Febuary)-12-2O12

Hello Guys ,i just want to BEG you to watch ,comment and like that clip ,because in my opinion it deservs waaaay more clicks .Maybe i don't know him well ,but i respect him and if any of you like him or just want to know who he is then please watch it .For me ,For my friend ,for yourself !

Thanks !

( the next post would come in some hours ! )

I want YOU to watch ,to rate and to comment this clip ! :) 

2(Febuary)-O6-2O12

Just cute (!) ,enough said !

2(Febuary)-O5-2O12

Hello Guys .

I'm completely ill but this doesn't stop me to share my newest drawing ;

It's a kiwi :) I like kiwi's and now i want to eat them ._.  soo smart ! -_-

Oooh ps ;

I stopped to draw my Claude Monet painting ,because it's horrible and with horrbile i mean ,i ruined it and claude monet don't even deserv it so it have got a new home called dumpster ^^

Hmm .. That's all !

2(Febuary)-O1-2O12

Dear Febuary ,

Why the hell do you come soo fast ?Why the hell do you need this mindfullness from us ? Do you want to kill me quickly ? Do you know that we'll all die in 21.12.2O12 ?Why you're so smart ? Why does only legends would be born on febuary ?Why the hell do you only have 27/28 days or 29 days like this year ? Do you want the slowly Death ? Do you want to give us time to say good bye ? Well i'll tell you ,asshole ,it won't help ,you're evil and i don't like you /: But otherwise i like you because the sense of my life was born ; Kurdt Donald Kobain (Fradenburg? ) ♥

and i also like you because you're diffrent and yeaa i gave you the mindfullness which you needed ,are you proud now ?

1(January)-31-2O12

Hello ,Hello ,Hello !

 At last i wrote all my tests and exams ,so i can write more to you but on febuary i would work as hell again /:

Because in the middle/the end of febuary i would write the most important exam from those last 8 fn' years !It would kills me if i fail !BTW ,i wanted to talk about an another theme called "books" . Well for you i read the first 20 pages of Shadow of Death and it still got me! I never thought that a crime book would interess me ,but it really do ,woaah ! I'm in Chapter 2 ,on the scene where brendan phillips found the corpse of george millar .Alex Gray wrote the beginning so well and she used the right words for explaining the situation .Tomorrow i wanna read the book or i want to go on with art ,because tomorrow i only have 4 hours of school ,means i come back at 11 am ,so i've got much time to draw/to read .

Well ,i've got nothing to say or do you have something to ask ? ASK ME !

xoxo HopeVanHalen

1(January)-3O-2O12

Hello Guys !

I really have luck that i find time for you guys ♥

Today i went shopping into a lot of shops .I get new pillows and new carpets and books . Really ,i bought books ,an art lover ,#omg ! Well for this year(2O12) i thought about to read more books and more stuff . If you want i can send you my list ,full with dreams what i want to do for this year .it's a lot and a lot of dumb stuff ,you'll laugh :(

BTW ! I want to tell a bit about the books ,if you allow me to do that .

(My first personal picture ,which i sent here .I know ...)

Left one ; Death in the summerhouse(word by word translation) written by Åke Smedberg

Right One ; Shadow of Death (original title) written by Alex Gray

With which one should i start ? I'd rather left ,so leeeet's go ( in mario style ) ^^

Åke Smedberg was born in 1948 and she's popular author in sweden .She usually writes poems and short stories . She only wrote 3 novels and i've got one of them .This was written in 2003 .Her other novels were written on 2001(LOST) and one in 2005(With the same blood) .I'll give a feedback if i read it ^^

Alex Gray is not a man (How i firstly thought s:)

• Never Somewhere Else (2002)
• A Small Weeping (2004)
• Shadows Of Sounds (2005)
• The Riverman (2007)
• Pitch Black (2008)
• Glasgow Kiss (2009)
• Five Ways To Kill A Man (2010)
• Sleep like the Dead (2011)

(The red marked book is the book i've got)

she's a scottish woman and has published six novels, all set around Glasgow and featuring the character of Detective Chief Inspector Lorimer and his psychological profiler Solomon Brightman, the earlier novels being published by Canongate and later books by Little Brown. She has also written several magazine articles. I would also give a feedback if i allready read it .

Well that's all what i wanted to say . See you on the weekend ♥

Oooh and if you have questions ; ASK ME ! I'm glad to answer them all ,if i know the answer s:

1(January)-29-2O12

1(January)-27-2O12

1(January)-23-2O12

1(January)-23-2O12

1(January)-15-2O12

1(January)-12-2O12

Hello ,Hello my Readers !

Yesterday i went shopping and yea ,i wrote the most stuff here . But one thing i wanna describe here ,in my Art//Quote blog . Because i also bought an art magazine . Well . i never thought that i would do it because art come from your soul and not really from your brain ,accept the fantasy which you need to "see" your picture done but not done in real life ,if you understand what i mean o0 i think not .. So i wanna leave it ^^

You can't study art ,you can't explain art(if you think you know what art is then forget everything) ,You can't control art . Art controls you ! And there are 2 ways ;

1 ~You can't handle with the fact that art controls you and youre bad at it~

2 ~You can handle with the fact that art controls you .~

The muse around you choose what you draw . Your mood choose how you draw . The Time choose if you want it or not . 

O.kayh . Now i left the main theme ,but i think this is important to tell you . My reason why i bought this magazine was this one because i'm not good with art and handling with it ,but i just need time . I also bought this because i want to know how other people do it ,how experts do this . I read it 2 times (everything) and the tipps were great . i think about it to use them . If i have the time (spring holidays not earlier unless i've got a terrible illness ) i wanna try to explain those tipps .

I hope i can see you on the weekend ,so i wanna write more ^^

(i just wrote here something because im ill ..)

1(January)-O6-2O12

Hello Guys !

At last i can go on with my tutorial for you ,but unfortunately i've got no time in those next days &nd after the weekend i've got school ,AWFUL !

I'm deeply sorry to tell you that ,but if i'm ill or when i've to work ,then i'll go on with my Tutorial .

Yea ,i have to go to work in 2 weeks ..Work experience ,you know ? But now i wanna go on with the description for the picture above this post .

I bought 2 stretched canvas for 2 euro (each stretched canvas costs 1 euro) // 20 x 20 cm .

Fact (?) ; Art Sales are awesome ! *.*

I also bought yellow acrylic colour // N° 19 // 2 euro // 15 ml . i wanted to buy lemon yellow like Claude Monet used for his artpiece ,but my mum liked this normal yellow more so i bought this here .

Oh ,i forgot to tell you that this would (maybe) be my last post for this & next week .Sorry ,Sorry ,Sorry !

i wanna miss you ,guys ! ):

1(January)-O5-2O12

1(January)-O1-2O12

Dear Truth &nd Dear Bitch ..

It's the first day of a new year &nd i can't believe it that i would reach this . I remember . It was summer &nd i was afraid of the future &nd about New Years eve . I really thought it was weeks ago ,but it was months ago . Soo much happend in this "Last year" . &nd right now i start to realize what i allready done ,i start to look back &nd to remember to the Great times ; Meeting AWESOME friends on a dumb girlie page , i found myself in Nirvana , i survived one year of school &nd so on . (I think that you're not intressted into my life ,so i stop to talk about it. ) But we also had to fall down &nd we have to realize that not everything can live forever (accept the weird club called 'Club 27' o0 ) . Sometimes we have to give up something ,sometimes we have to realize that not everything can be true &nd sometimes ... we have to say "Good Bye" . We have to live with that ! But the most can't . (I'm deeply true ,i also can't live with some facts ) They fall down on the cold ground . They fall in the deep hole called "Truth" . If people are there they have the choice to fall again or to come back to earth &nd to deal with the fact . If you wanna fall again ,people wanna call you suicidal &nd other stuff which could push you again .The devil ask you with a weapon on your head if you wanna believe it or not &nd then it's your choice . i never went to this step before but i think it would turn into this way if you don't wanna believe . I know . It's maybe a weird thought but it's my thought . I can live with the fact that i not fit into the "Social-14-JustinBieberFan-withGreatMarks" club . But can YOU also live with the fact that i don't care about your thought ? Can you also live with the fact that i hate you ? No ? Then it's not my fault . Live with it &nd fall on the deep ground . I would have something to laugh about ! Yaay !
xoxo