looked through my old things and found this.

yes. i found drawings of manga eyes. i hope you enjoy it :)

that awkward moment...

...when you forget your blog.
oh well, it happend again? how? don't ask because i also don't know how the actual fuck i could forget it. well, a lot happend in this month, but i won't share my whole life with you. that's why we've got social networks like facebook or twitter. on a blog, you can do that, but i don't want that. here i want to share my thoughts/statements to things(serious stuff)...
But before i run outta the main theme(the reason why i write today), i want to share a...uhmm.. kinda crazy story, but it really happend. i sleepwalked. and the crazy thing is; i wrote a long text and it seriously made sense. i showed that my best friend(online), she thought it was awesome. and i showed it the people in reality and they just were like; wtf? i see that the world between reality and the internet is fucking diffrent. of course i prefer the internet world and thanks for the nice compliment! :)
ooh and before i write it down. it's dedicated to 2 great girls outta here. totally diffrent, but i love you both so fucking much :-*

' i'm ugly...', when i hear that sentence, i could literally freak out. the society(which barely knows you) where we live in, chooses who's 'beautiful' and who's not, BUT does the anonymous majority have the right to judge you without knowing you? NO! THEY FUCKING COMPLETELY DON'T! i guess, i know the meaning of 'beauty', because the mainstream didn't brainwashed me, but unfortunately did the word 'beautiful' lost it's magical sparkle of meaning. the majority thinks that plastic surgery makes them look perfect, just like a barbie doll. and what about the tight and short outfits? so every guy can look behind your little skirt and wanna bang you for one night. girls? they just do that to push their own ego and to settle their lust for sex down.(i don't wanna say that every guy do that, but in this society where i live in, i trust them anything!) i'm happy that i don't need something like that, because i know the real personality of beauty:

 your character is the most important part for your inner beauty, also experience, surroundings and your past are important, but these are only small categories to your whole character. i had the experience, that shy people can be very lovely and careful people if you stay in contact with them for a long time.when they're under people who they actually can trust into, then they show their really beautiful side. when somebody says, that he/she mean it serious, you can see the sparkle in their eyes. his/her body temperature shows you how he/she feels(sweat, blushing...). the corners of his/her mouth tells you if he/she's feeling fine or not (but after a while did the minority learn how to fake their emotions). the gestures shows if he/she likes it or not. when everything is in one harmony, then, but ONLY then you see the REAL beauty of a person.

i'm sorry for all the mistakes, but the original text is written in a diffrent language and i just tried my best to translate it, allhough i'm not good at it. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY! but i hope you understand my main message<3

the letter, which wants to scream the shit outta my heart.

Dear Jordan.

i don’t know where i should start and what i should say. i’m speechless because of my own stupidity. i never thought that i could be so idiotic. i understood you wrong and now you understand me wrong. every feeling, every kiss, every smile and every touch of you saved my day and made me smile genuinely. eVERything(RIP Jimmy ‘the REV’ Sullivan) i feel for you is for fucking real! ok? i don’t have to pretend love. it’s the most disgusting thing i’ve ever heared. if you think i lie, then you’re COMPLETELY WRONG! i love you, foREVer. I couldn’t lie to my little baby gnome. i couldn’t lie to those eyes, which metls my heart in seconds. i couldn’t. it’s like lying the better side from you(rself). You’re the good side of me, ok? because my whole personality is shit and i hate myself enough. you’re the reason of my existence. it’s like insulting your family without reason… FUCK IT! please forgive me! PLEASE! it KILLS me to know that you ignore me.

‘What if i never hold you? Or kiss your lips again?’ ~ seize the day

‘I know it’s hurting you, but it’s killing me!’ ~ unholy confessions

it’s just empty and cold without your love… *cry*

updates

Hello, hello readers!

the vacation started and that means, that i've got the time to write more in all my blogs.

well, i just wanted to tell you that, so be prepared for some spams ^^

don't tell that i didn't warn you. and to show you what will come in the next 6 weeks, here's a list of stuff, i want to publish;
~picture/gif with meanings
~quotes
~random stuff
~1 short story
~paintings/drawings (of mine and other artists)

that's it. can't wait to entertain you, guys! ;)

it's midnight...

...the time where the brain works best(studies suggest).
ooh, i could be a poet, but we all know that this wouldn't work. nope. i don't have any special reason to write here something, but i want to write my thoughts down, on my own blog. maybe dumb, maybe not, but who knows? can we actually follow everything we write and realize what we posted? "we're so trendy, we can't escape ourselves." ~Kurt Cobain. i could go on with these thoughts, but actually, that's not what i wanted to talk about. my reason why i wrote here is the fact that i get fn' much compliments in those last days and it starts to scare me. i understand what people want to tell me, but you all overfloat me. with your feelings. allthough only 2 people care for me, but hey(!) i guess they mean it serious. just too cute. and i want to thank them. caring for me so much, allthough i don't even deserv it. making me feel wanted, in a weird way. well, in my opinion it's weird, because it's rarely to have a feeling like that. and now you overwhelm me. fuck you! <3 maybe i sound like an ego or somebody eles who searches for attention, but then you understood the whole message wrong. i just want to say; 'thank you for entering in my life, because i don't know what i would be without you'. that's all. is that too much (what i want)?

books, books and my life.

hello my readers!

well, it's the 1st.July which i actualy can't believe, because of the not very awesome weather. i also can't believe it because i only have to go to school for 5 days and then my vacation would start. that means i have SO much time and i want to do many activities like;

• reading (more)
• drawing/painting (more)
• teach myself how to play piano
• study english better

and more stuff.

I played piano when i was 12, but i stopped for a while. now i want to learn it again. wish me luck! ;)

Wait. Stop!

the main reason i wanted to write a new post was because i want to show you 3 great books. i didn't read them/started to read, but i hope it doesn't mind.

i started to read nicholas sparks book 'nights in rodanthe'(in german: das lächeln der sterne) and i allready read 5 chapters and it starts to be interesting. i asked my aunt how she felt after reading the book and she said; ' i cried the whole night long. i just couldn't sleep because of the book' i was totally suprised, but i know her too good, so i guess it would be a path of emotions for me. if i'm done with it, i will tell you how i feel.

The next one is a book with 2 books of thomas mann(shit, that sounds weird). 'Tonio Kroeger'(only 70 pages long) and 'Mario and the magican' are in one book. my german teacher told me to read that, because it supports my literate. I guess she said it like that, but im not sure. today i'll start with it and i guess, i can tell you my feedback about it tomorrow. or on tuesday. i don't know. i have to find time for it. if you've got questions or anything else you want to tell me, you can write to me. 

my hotmail: club27tribute@hotmail.com

french is an utterly beautiful language. let me show you why.

In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.” I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.